We were delayed a day this week on account of me nearly getting stabbed at the Dodgers game, but it’s Tuesday now and we’re back with episode 26. Due to last week’s Star Trek fiesta, we lost out on a week of news that contained some very interesting (Branagh on Thor) and ridiculous (Chi-WOW-hua) stories. So this week we’re playing catch-up with a quick hour of news stories and tangents.

I want to clarify here exactly how I would beat up Harvey Keitel.

Now, I am not denying that he’s got some fight in him, because obviously the man has a history and that history is peppered with adversity and Marine training during a time when the Marines were allowed to hit recruits. However, the guy is sixty-nine years old. IMDB won’t tell me his height, but I assume I am taller. In a closed space, straight up, hand-to-hand throw down, it is likely that he would punch me once in the throat and I’d go down in two seconds, but if we were in a more open area, with room to run, I’m winning that fight nine out of ten times.

Old people get tired, and despite my sedentary lifestyle I am pretty spry. So the key here is to keep moving, keep provoking Keitel into chasing and lunging, until he’s a little run down. Once he’s slowed, all there really is to do is to get an approach from the back or sides, and take out his legs. Old people have problems getting up, especially when they are being kicked in the ribs until they tap out.

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